My Why
Life lately has been so so sweet… and so so busy!! There is so much happening, all over the spectrum, and it is absolutely crazy how God works such amazing wonders. I did overload with my coursework at school for the summer, and it was crazy busy! So naturally, I then did overload for the fall, but an overloaded course schedule that was so crazy that my counselor had to make an appeal to the school for me to take the amount of units I applied for because it is never done! Then on top of all that, I started my new job at a sweet school here. I am still nannying, but I am also working at this school while the kiddos are enjoying their full school day, as well. You could say that I’m enjoying the best of both worlds. Sooo yeah, I have been a little bit distracted from my blog and YouTube for a while, with so many huge life changes all at once, but hey, that seems to be how all my summers go! ;)
With that being said, I love being busy. I thrive on a routine, and I perform my best in situations where I am able to distract myself from myself. My routine is going a million miles an hour once again, and I feel comfortable jumping back into my endeavors with my blog and YouTube again. I think I got discouraged for a while, because you put so much time and effort into content that you are passionate about and proud of, only to get 15 views. I had to take my own sabbatical period in terms of social media to really sit back, reframe my thoughts, and take into account all of the ways that I was getting distracted by the wrong things. I started my YouTube as an answer to a calling that I felt. YouTube scares me. The idea of putting myself out there to others scares me. Terrifies me. However, this is a calling I felt for years, that I got counseled over and that I knew I needed to listen to. I started and got very overwhelmed by the amount I was putting in versus the amount I felt I was getting out. That is where I had to pause and reflect- I never started this with the hopes of getting thousands of views or thousands of dollars, I started this to talk about Jesus. That is the point. He is the point. I took the needed time to pray and say, “God. I’m scared. But I will listen.” Now I am going back, all in, ready to receive only 5 views if that means that 5 people are hearing about God. I was concerned with the type of content I would create, concerned that others would judge what they saw, gossip about me, make fun of me, etc.
I don’t feel that way anymore. I know that people making fun of others obeying God and having fun while doing it says more about them than it does about me. I have complete peace over knowing that this is something I am supposed to do, and it is for a purpose.
I will make all types of content, with God at the center. From sit-down talks to cooking and baking to cleaning, reading scary stories and vlogging my daily routines, God is at the center of that in my day to day, and I want to create content that reflects me, even if that looks random and scattered at times. The truth is, I want my YouTube to truly reflect me and my personality, and there is more to that, more to me, than just one category that does well on an algorithm. So I will be posting here on Mondays, and on my YouTube at least twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays. I feel refreshed, inspired and ready to take on my endeavors and share the gospel… even if only 5 of you hear it personally. ;)
XOXO,
Tay